A Conversation with Matthew Nock

The Advising Project recently sat down with Matthew K. Nock, Edgar Pierce Professor of Psychology and Chair of the Department of Psychology, to chat about all things advising. Nock weighed in on topics ranging from reaching out to advisors and 3 a.m. emails to work/life balance and impostor phenomenon on campus: “I still get a sense of awe when I walk through Harvard Yard,” he says. 

What comes to mind for you when you hear the word “advising”?

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Matt Nock, Edgar Pierce Professor of Psychology, and Chair of the Department of Psychology, Harvard University.

Excitement and possibility! Advising is one of my favorite parts of being a faculty member. I love having the opportunity to work with students, both undergraduate and graduate, to introduce them to psychology and help them generate questions about human mind/brain/behavior and then develop ways to test those questions with data. 

I really came to appreciate a few years into being a faculty member just how much fun advising is. Students bring so many new ideas, perspectives, and approaches to the things we’re trying to examine. In the psychology department, we have a “junior colleague” model, where we recognize that graduate students are younger and less experienced, but they are our colleagues. We don’t expect them to act as our apprentices and do whatever we’re doing in terms of their research questions; we want to help them develop their own lines of work.

How have you changed as an advisor over the course of your career?

I thought initially that I had to have a “way” of advising, but realized early on that that was not helping me be a successful advisor. Instead, I try to meet each student where they are and not use a “one size fits all” approach. I don’t want to micromanage, but I also don’t want to be too unavailable. I’ve just tried to be really flexible: figure out where students are and where they want to go, and try to help them meet their goals. Each person is different and no one advising style is going to be best for every student. Not all students want the same thing! 

The students I get to work with change over time, of course, but they are always at a really exciting point in their lives and careers, figuring out what it is they’re going to do, and how, and why.

What tips do you have for students who are considering switching advisors? 

Use your supports. Be open and honest with the faculty member you’re moving from and the one you’re moving to. In more than two decades doing this, it’s always ended well in the situations I’ve seen, and these conversations usually go a lot better than the student thought they would.

Students can think about the counterfactual, too: the alternative to switching advisors is things staying how they are. If the relationship is not a good fit for you, it might not be a good fit for the faculty member, either. In almost every case, switching results in the student being happier and the advisor being happier. That said, it takes a lot of courage to have these conversations and make a change. Students should lean on the people around them, including their faculty members, friends, and family.

I will say, too, that as hard as these conversations are, they are good practice for later in life. We all have to deal with change, uncertainty, fear of rejection and burning bridges, and so forth. These are all real concerns that never go away. It’s part of the training of graduate school to have practice with these situations.

We hear a lot from students that they are hesitant to reach out to their advisors because they know Harvard faculty are very busy and often overcommitted. What would you say to these students? 

You’re not bothering them! A big part of a faculty member’s job is to work with and support students. It’s always a little surprising to hear students are hesitant like this. We all get deeply focused on our own projects, but faculty do this job to be able to work with students. And this perception that students would be taking them away from their work isn’t necessarily true. If there’s a reason to meet, we want to hear about it!

If you want more time with your advisor, ask for it. I meet regularly on a scheduled cadence with new PhD students, and we talk about how often to meet, and how this will change over the course of the program. 

Being clear with expectations is crucial for this relationship. For all relationships! So often disagreements stem from a mismatch of expectations or a misunderstanding of what one person wanted. More information is almost always better.

Another thing we hear frequently from students is “My advisor/PI emails me a lot on weekends. Does that mean I’m supposed to be working then?” What tips do you have for students thinking about work/life balance at a place like Harvard?

There’s a lot of variability among faculty, and probably among students, too. If I email on a weekend, it’s simply because I’m working then. This flexibility is one of the perks of academia. I don’t expect a 3 a.m. or Saturday afternoon email from my students, that’s just when I’m fitting in this particular email. (And if I send an email at 3 a.m. that doesn’t mean that I was up all night working, either!)

“Time on task” is a good predictor of success. It doesn’t come easy to people, though. It takes a lot of hours to excel at something, whether you’re an academic or a cellist or a basketball player. That doesn’t mean working 24/7, though. Work/life balance looks different for everyone. Students should also remember that they aren’t present for the time their advisor isn’t on campus—faculty are not working all the time! Plus, being a faculty member here is not the only possible measure of success.

One approach is to figure out your goals and desired outcomes. Then figure out what it takes to get to the outcome you want. For me, in grad school, I was in the lab/clinic all day, every day, Monday through Thursday. But Friday through Sunday? Not at all. If you saw me during the week, you’d think all I did was work, and if you saw me on a weekend, you’d think I never did! Negotiate what your time looks like with your family and friends; how you prioritize your time won’t stay the same from year to year. 

What would you say to a student experiencing impostor phenomenon? 

Welcome to the club! Surveys of Harvard students suggest that up to75 percent of students at Harvard feel this way, and I’m suspicious of those who say they don’t! It’s an amazing privilege to be at Harvard, and it’s natural to doubt whether we’ve earned our right to be here. Virtually all of us feel this way. We can put a lot of pressure on ourselves; these self-imposed expectations can lead to good work but can also lead to burnout. 

It’s important to recognize that if you’re here, you’ve earned your way here. You are given this opportunity, this privilege, and you should use it the best way you can: to help others, advance science, or make the world a better place. I still get a sense of awe when I walk through Harvard Yard. It took me 15 years to get over the worst of my imposter phenomenon. 

So, a student should know that it’s natural, but also try not to let it paralyze you and destroy your experience while you’re here. Much of my early time as a graduate student I felt like I didn’t belong. I know it’s easier said than done, but try to be present, experience what’s happening around you and the work that you’re doing. Also remember the time and effort you spent getting here, as well as the generosity of your teachers and mentors who helped you get here. Pay that forward. You have a responsibility to help others up. Nobody here made it without the help of other people.

What are some ways students and faculty can strengthen their advising relationships?

Every relationship is different, and there is no one strategy that will work across the board, but it is important to be open, honest, and transparent about wants and expectations. Students should let faculty know what they want and need out of the relationship, and faculty should do the same. I had an advisor who was honest and transparent and also really humble, who would say—even as a senior faculty member—“I’m still figuring it out and might get stuff wrong, I don’t know it all,” and this made a huge impact on me as a graduate student. We are all still works in progress. 

Try and give grace to the other person, too, and assume the best intentions (though I know this also is easier said than done). Both students and faculty can get their heads deep into the work they’re doing, and if someone hasn’t responded, chances are it’s because of some aspect of their job, or perhaps a family issue, that sort of thing. A lack of response isn’t necessarily an indication of something being wrong with the advising relationship.