Coping with Uncertainty

If there’s one thing the human brain resists, it’s ambiguity. We’re wired for predictability and control. From our earliest days, we’ve survived by scanning for threats and planning ahead. But the reality of school—and life—is that uncertainty is constant. Whether it’s the outcome of your research, the state of the job market, or whether your funding will be renewed, the not-knowing can be exhausting.

Our brains try to protect us by analyzing everything—our surroundings, memories, and past mistakes—and drawing conclusions to feel safer. But when the data is incomplete or the path unclear, we often fill in the gaps with worst-case assumptions. Add in academic pressure, perfectionism, and unrealistic expectations, and it’s no wonder uncertainty feels unbearable.

In my Overcome Perfectionism workshop, inspiration for my book The Perfectionist’s Dilemma, a student said:

“The only way I can get things done is if I do everything just right. If I can’t do it right, then I don’t do it at all.”

That’s a hard way to get through school—and to live. But it’s common. Uncertainty activates our inner critic, ramps up fear of failure, and triggers survival responses like fight (stress and anxiety), flight (avoidance and procrastination), and freeze (burnout and depression).

Luckily, there are skills and supports that can help.

Calming the Mind When You Start to Spiral

When faced with uncertainty, many of us start spiraling—mentally replaying past mistakes or projecting into imagined futures. Dr. Rue Wilson, staff psychologist at Harvard’s Counseling and Mental Health Services (CAMHS) and co-leader of the CAMHS Coping and Grieving Group describes this as toxic time travel.

“We try to feel more in control by imagining different outcomes,” Wilson explains. “But anxiety is such a powerful emotion that our thinking often becomes catastrophic. We get stuck ruminating, overwhelmed by what-ifs, and disconnected from the present—where we actually have the most certainty.”

To return to the here and now, Wilson offers this gentle eight-point approach:

1. Notice when you're spiraling. Simply saying “I’m time traveling” can help you step back from the thought loop.
2. Breathe. Take a few slow, deep breaths. Exhaling a bit longer activates your calming system.
3. Ground in your senses. What can you see, hear, smell, touch, or taste? Use your body to anchor to the moment.
4. Validate yourself kindly. Try saying to yourself, “It makes sense that I feel anxious—AND I can handle this moment.”
5. Accept what is. Try saying, “This is what’s true right now. What’s one thing I can do?” Acceptance makes room for choice.
6. Question your thoughts. Are they true? Are they helpful? Notice if your inner critic is using all-or-nothing language.
7. Take a small action. Do something manageable: tidy up your desk, send a short email, take a walk. Take one, small step toward addressing a larger concern.
8. Add a little humor. Imagine your thoughts as a dramatic movie trailer: “Groundhog Day: The Dissertation Edition,” “Contagion: Group Project,” or “The Lab Rat.” Give yourself permission to smile.

Remember, when you're caught in the time travel loop, ask: “Is this helping me?” Using a kind and curious inquiry is key, according to Dr. Jud Brewer, author of Unwinding Anxiety and director of research and innovation at Brown University's Mindfulness Center. A neuroscientist and addiction psychiatrist, Brewer suggests that curiosity quiets the brain.  By noticing how uncertainty shows up in the body—and rumination cycles in the brain—you create more spacious awareness. You can then decide which of the above practices offers the “bigger, better, offer.”

Skill 2: Recruit Your Physiology to Be on Your Side

Let’s be honest—when we're told to “just breathe,” it can feel dismissive, as if our worries are being brushed aside. But regulating the nervous system is not about minimizing your stress; it's about supporting your wellbeing from the inside out. To navigate uncertainty, we need moments that activate the parasympathetic nervous system—our body's natural way of restoring balance and calm.

Augusta Davis, LICSW, and leader of CAMHS’ DBT Skills Group, suggests that a simple change of scenery combined with mindful breathing can offer a needed dose of calm. She shares this exercise:

“Walking along the Charles River offers a chance to slow down and connect with the present. Feel the warmth of the sun on your skin, or the breeze in your hair. Pause to sit on a bench, take a few deep breaths, and listen. Notice something new. What do you hear? Is the water lapping? How many different bird songs are there? Each unique sound is a reminder that life is unfolding moment by moment.”

In times of uncertainty, these small observations can create space for clarity, calm, and connection with the world around you. And remember: if mindful walks or breathing exercises aren’t enough, you don’t have to navigate these challenges alone.

It’s Okay to Ask for Help

Dr. Doris Iarovici, CAMHS psychiatrist and author of Coping on Campus, reminds us in Yale Alumni Magazine that being human means having limits, since the highly complex human brain does have biological constraints:

“Some students hate when I ask whether their expectations are realistic. They’re looking for a fix that will help them function on five hours of sleep, daily cannabis use, and a soul-crushing internship. But real solutions require honesty, support, and sometimes change.”

Medicine can be a powerfully helpful approach at times, but at other times, prioritizing healthy habits and reasonable limits works better. Knowing how—and where—to seek support is a crucial skill in itself.

How to Access Campus Mental Health Resources

Kim Herrmann, LICSW, access team leader at CAMHS, outlines the range of mental health and wellness services available to Harvard students. Whether you’re navigating burnout, a breakup, or something more serious, you don’t have to figure it out alone.

CAMHS services include:

• individual therapy and medication support
  
• TimelyCare for virtual counseling and health coaching
  
• workshops and support groups
  
• referrals to off-campus providers.
  

Herrmann acknowledges, “With the diversity of options available, it can sometimes be difficult to know where to start. CAMHS initial phone consultations serve as an entry point for students seeking guidance with the process and/or looking to begin with services.”

Book a CAMHS Initial Consultation—a 20–30 minute phone call with a licensed clinician who will help you map out next steps based on your goals and preferences. For some, a single therapy relationship is enough. For others, a combination of services is most supportive.

What to Expect in Your First Therapy Appointment (aka an “intake”)

“It can be daunting to begin therapy with a new provider—especially if it’s your first time receiving treatment for mental health related concerns” says Sarah Rayner, LICSW, an Access Coordinator at CAMHS. Be assured that getting connected is easier than you might think. Show up as you are. There’s no need to prep or bring anything. But if it helps you to jot down questions or topics, go for it. Your therapist will ask about your concerns, goals, and personal background to better understand how they can support you.

Rayner points out, “Collaboration is key. If something isn’t working in the therapy over time, say so!  If there is a question or concern that you have regarding your therapy experience, it’s important to feel empowered to bring it into your therapy session.”

Need help now? Students can call the CAMHS Cares Line (617-495-2042)—a 24/7 support line for registered Harvard students. Whether you're in crisis or just need to talk to someone, a counselor is available any time, day or night. Other questions? Visit the CAMHS website to learn more.